Flu Lessons

 

• When someone has the flu and you tell them you've never felt better and are glad you got the flu shot, that's not good.  There is an alternate universe where that information is helpful and interesting – this is not it.

 

• The human nasal cavity is capable of containing four times a person's body weight of… nasal cavity stuff. 

 

• The nose knows that the rule is to be plugged when within 3 feet of Kleenex and flow like a broken dam when Kleenex is out of reach.

 

• The body stores sneezes in the sneeze bin until there are five.  Then it releases them in as short amount of time as possible.  This, scientifically, is what causes the aches during the flu – your sneeze bin has been overloaded. 

 

• When other family members are sick I'm not, and I try to cheer them up, I'm being kind.  When I'm sick and my daughter and wife aren't and they try to cheer me up, they are being unkind.  I can't figure this one out but it seems to be universal.

 

• Reading or watching a movie is nothing but a waste of time when you are sick.  Flu turns the retention cells of the brain to morph into little slippery rocks.  The person who made up the phrase, "In one ear and out the other," had just gotten over the flu.

 

• The volume of the phone ringer is designed to increase with your level of headache.  The bigger the headache the louder the ring.

 

• Cough syrup with codeine is your friend and is best with a bright colored straw, Twinkies, raw carrots, and hot dogs.

 

God does not take a vacation when I feel yucky.  The truth of the good news through Jesus Christ doesn't become a rumor when I have a coughing fit.  The presence of the Spirit of God doesn't take my physical temperature to decide where to live( oooh there's a sermon in there about your soul's temperature!).  The Word of God isn't as weak or weaker when I am - ever.  The next life doesn't evaporate when this one seems to be less fun.

 

God is not dependant on me, I am dependant on Him.  My level of dependence shouldn't fluctuate anymore than His level of supply does. I need Him at all times, during all moods, within all activities.  I confess to you I am a weak, ill-equipped, a sheep that doesn't know enough to come in out of the rain.  He is my strength, my training, and my Shepherd that knows best. 

 

Wishing My Life Story With God Didn't Include the Flu This Week,

 

Pastor Dave

 

 

PS – happy birthday Mommy!

PSS – In case you didn't hear we are not doing trunk-r-treat this year.

PSSS – Even if it's just my wife and daughter and I we are going to worship God together on Sunday!  We're done being sick, if you are – join us!