2014 Prayer

"God of the universe and Lover of my soul, I think the New Year needs to include a starting line of confession.

I confess before you my failures of the previous year to allow you to love someone through me. Too often I predetermine who I let you love through me. I have favorite people that I want to show your love to and others who I have deemed as not worthy of your love.

I confess my desire to mix your will with my plans. I long to know your will, but I don't want my plans to get lost in the journey. I am well aware of the fact my plans and your will sometimes don't mix, and sometimes I have chosen to act on the wrong one.

I confess my hunger to be liked. I want to be accepted and receive approval of people to the degree that I forget that none of the people I long to impress are capable of caring for my soul in this life or the next. Sometimes I fight for the favor of the weaker over the Stronger.

I confess to you a sharp tongue. I speak harsh words far too quickly missing the opportunity you offer of seasoning my words with your grace and wisdom. Critical words make me feel superior and purchase for me a sense of hidden arrogance that puffs up my value at the cost of someone else. I'm sorry.

I humbly confess a spirit of empty religion.  Sometimes I view you through the lens of things that I do for you. I keep hoops of my faith propped up with my flippant words and jump through them with my weak commitment without taking the time to notice a lack of power or fruit.

I confess with sorrow my bent to mix political opinions with the call of the gospel. I feel self-righteous when I point to the errors of those who disagree and angry when there is a hint that my rights are not being upheld. I have tried to make servanthood palatable, following you less strenuous, and cross carrying fit into my schedule.

I also confess my disappointment… sometimes even with you. There were times in this past year that I asked for your hand and did not see it.  There were times I asked for understanding and didn't receive it, and times that I sought intervention and you withheld it. To be honest, there were times through the year my faith was paper thin. The year included moments of real joy, but it also held many, many moments of disappointment. I have made my expectations an idol and it makes me mad when you don't worship them too.

I start this New Year with a new confession.

I confess my undying commitment and my unwavering love for you and all that you are.

I confess my continued need for your grace to face a new year of unknowns and trials that will pull me to compromise.

I confess my complete weakness to face a single fraction of a second without your hand on me, whether it is felt or not.

I confess my inability to accomplish anything of value without your power pulsating through my spirit.

I confess that I am yours.

Amen."

DDK