To a Dad of a Princess

This weekend my daughter is getting married.  I will walk her down the aisle and deliver her hand to the hand of another man.  My life is going to change at the end of a 30 second walk in lead shoes.  While music is playing and people are whispering about her dress, how nervous the groom looks, and taking bets on how many words I say before I have to blow my nose, I will be in the volcano of soul that no one else can visit.  I'm dad.

This is a day that I have longed for her and dreaded at the same time.  In that confusion I thought about a few things, in no particular order, that I would say to other dads who know that day is coming when they too will take the lead shoe walk.

1.  Know that you are training your daughter how to be treated by a man through the way you treat your wife.  I can't think of many things I want more for my daughter than to know real love.  Since that is what I want her to know - it's mandatory I show her what it looks like.  Lectures don't help here, consistent life long visuals do.

2.  Avoid grumpy attitudes. When I dropped my daughter off at college the only words I said on the way home were, "I don't care what you say, I'm not going to her wedding."  I was a mess (so they tell me, I have largely blocked the whole thing out).  But, the Lord had some words with me about my attitude… a couple of years later.  He reminded me that complaining about His plan for her joy is not wise.

3.  Pray for the unknown "puke-face."  To stand on the platform of "no one's good enough for my daughter," is to argue with God.  How much better to come to God as your princess is growing and repeatedly pray for the man God has for her.  Pray that he makes good choices, pray that he would be protected, pray that God would protect and prepare your daughter for him.  Pray for your daughter to have discernment.  [side note: when you know he's the one you've been praying for he's not so puke-facy anymore]

4.  Remember who your vows apply to.  My job with raising my children is temporary.  They will always be my children, but the role of "raising" is temporary.  I need to be sure my marriage is not defined by the children - they move.  After Prince Charming comes to take the Princess the King the Queen should be ready to be in the castle alone… and that's fun!

5.  Talk about sex.  Age appropriate.  Age appropriate.  Age appropriate.  Dad's need to rescue sex from the culture of "everyone's doing it" and the culture of "it's of the devil."  Both cultures miss God's plan.  It's impossible to hide her from Hollywood's distortion (unless you don't allow any movies, radio, tv, books, computers, iPhones, magazines, or friends).  So, watch for teachable moments.  Expose the lies as lies and watch for the right moments to talk about God's design.

6.  Teach her not to compromise.  God's best is worth waiting for.

For the record - I am proud of my daughter and the woman of God she is.  I am proud of her for waiting for God's plan, and when she saw it, for not dragging her feet.  I am proud to welcome into the family the man that treated my daughter as she needs to be treated.

I'm wearing lead shoes to the wedding in my spirit, but that's ok when you're floating from seeing God's plan unfold for two people you believe in.

The Dad,

Pastor Dave