Friday, June 6, 2014

The Big "D"

I've been working on a Doctor of Ministry degree from George Fox University. The light is at the end of the tunnel and the end is getting closer, but there is a dissertation that is standing in the way. This summer the "big D" and I will square off.

It stands 50,000 words tall, has eyes that see through me and a voice that both beckons and mocks me at the same time. I have played with it and been bullied by it for 2 years now. Sometimes it reveals itself to me and invites me to spend time with it and at other times it is almost invisible, hiding, refusing.

I've learned something about it (or "us" because we are related). It has shown a light on parts of my spirit that I try and avoid. I can see hints of insecurity as I wonder if it will be ignored. Maybe no one will ever see the problem it addresses and the how personal its impact is. Maybe the world of academia will yawn because it's not intelligent enough. Maybe it will get me in trouble with some people I respect because they disagree with it (and I know some will).

So the big "D" stands between me and the light at the end of the tunnel. It is my passion that I long to dance with, my enemy that I would rather hide from, and a treasure I am hunting for. The dancing, hiding, and hunting will take place this summer. For the months of June through September my hands will be on the keyboard, my nose in books, my eyes on the distant light, my voice asking for grace and anointing, and my soul will be held by its Creator. 

In faith I will be closer to the light at the end of the tunnel by September and the big "D" will stand in my shadow. Friday Thought readers, see ya in September... maybe. (If you don't hear from me please send a search party to the tunnel of books!)


No comments: