Dear Jesus,
I guess you're aware of the fact that this week more got added to the pile of things I don't understand.
Sometimes that pile stinks. No matter how far I get away from it, I can still smell it. I've tried to hold my breath, but I can't hold it that long. Jesus, have you ever smelled rotten eggs - yah, it's kind of like that. Once I tried to pour coffee on it (I love the smell of coffee), but it didn't help.
The pile of things I don't understand is loud at times too. I didn't think it would make that much noise, but it's a pretty loud choir. Each item on the pile calls me to pick it up and hug it. They want me to value them. Sometimes I do, but they still make noise. Noise canceling headphones don't work on piles that live in your spirit. It would be nice to hear quiet.
I'll confess that I've even tripped over the pile. I know you told me to not walk that close to it, but it's getting so big it's hard to walk around. The other day when I went to put something new on the pile of things I don't understand I stumbled and fell right in the middle of it. I sat there up to my neck in questions. I forgot how sticky they are. I eventually crawled out but it took a really big distraction.
So, last time you wrote me you said that there would be things I don't understand and you're not going to give me all the answers. I'm coming to grips with that (but I still think it would be easier to just explain everything to me). You said that I need to find a different pile to spend my time around... one that I didn't build.
I've been looking around in my spirit and I may have found what you were talking about. Did you build a pile of grace in my spirit?
It smells amazing. It's a fragrance that must have been very expensive. How much did it cost you? Some how breathing it in sets me free. I thought I would have to have answers to be free. Grace let's me have a question without it keeping me in shackles.
And the sounds of the pile of grace in my spirit, I didn't know grace made a noise until I got really close and heard the rhythm of the beat. Is that your heart beat? Sometimes I can even hear lyrics. I heard, "There... is... hope...." the other day. "Let... me... give... you... power..." That was a cool song. My favorite is the beat that says, "I... love... you..." The pile of grace sings much better than the pile of things I don't understand. Hey, Jesus, could we turn the volume up a little more?
I've never tripped over the pile of grace. Somehow it makes my steps more sure and steady. It's an interesting texture to walk on. The pile seems to almost point my steps. I went swimming in the pile of grace and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't reach the bottom. How deep is grace anyway?
Well, I've got to get back to work. I know I've been spending a lot of time at the pile that I've built and not the one you built. I thought I'd write and tell you, I'm done hanging out at the pile of things I don't understand. Is it ok If I spend a lot more time at pile you made. Since I can't swim to the bottom, tomorrow I'm going to try to climb to the top. How high is your grace?
Friend & Follower,
Dave
